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Cloaking, Roaching, And Benching! Are These Worse Than Ghosting?

Picture this: you’re on a date with someone–finally, after weeks of texting and phone calls. The date goes well, and you guys hook up.

Then, bam!

Just when you thought you were clicking, they fall off the face of the earth and do not reply to your texts or calls. This is referred to as “ghosting.” Unfortunately, ghosting is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to dating fails.

Submarining

An actual submarine submerging from the ocean. — *Submaring is when the person you are dating disappears and then comes back out of nowhere as if nothing happened.*

Submarining is similar to ghosting. Your suitor will disappear, and then out of nowhere, they emerge like nothing ever happened. They won’t even acknowledge the radio silence. Just like a submarine, they’ll dip in and out of your life.

Roaching

When you hear the word “roach,” it brings to mind those nasty little bugs that hide in the dark corners of your kitchen.

“Roaching” is simultaneously dating several people and hiding it from them. While polyamory is an acceptable lifestyle, it is unacceptable to lie to others. This underhanded style of dating is now coined as roaching.

Many people know that once you see one roach, there must be more hiding. This is another reason why the term exists. The person roaching you must have others somewhere “in the dark corners.”

Benching

If you know sports terminology, then you are familiar with the term “benching.” For those that don’t know, benching is when a team’s coach prevents a player from participating, keeping them on the bench.

In terms of dating, benching is the same concept. A person will string someone along and “bench” them for a more promising relationship with someone else. If the promising option falls through, then the person will pick you to “play.” It’s basically another iteration of “plan b.”

Pocketing/Stashing

Ahhh, stashing. This is when you think things are going great, and you post cute, romantic pictures of you and your significant other. Then, you take a look at their social media.

You find that they never posted any pictures of you, never mentioned you, nor have they introduced you to their friends or family.

blank piece of paper in a pocket of a pair of jeans. — *Pocketing is when you are left as an option. The person does not post yoy on social media or introduce you to friends or family.*

You have just been stashed. They are keeping you in their pocket in case other options come along. This is similar to benching but has online evidence.

Cloaking

This is a more intense version of ghosting. “Cloaking” is when a person disappears and also blocks you in every form of communication. You can’t call, text, post, or even find their address. Ouch.

Kittenfishing

While it sounds cute, this dating fail happens way too often. As if photoshop or stealing pictures are not bad enough,”Kittenfishing” is when the person uses photos of themselves–but from 10 years earlier. Can you imagine meeting up with someone that you thought looked younger and did not age gracefully?

Orbiting

This is probably both the most common and manipulative one. Picture this: you and your partner break up, and you try to move on. After the three-day “eat cookies and cry period,” you finally head out and dip your toes in the dating pool.

Then, your ex creeps up out of nowhere and messages you on social media. They like your Facebook posts, watch your Instagram stories, and comment on your pictures. This maneuver is an abusive tactic to keep you hooked on them. They either can’t let go themselves, or are trying to keep you unbalanced.

Dating is not easy, and social media is only making it more complicated. Building a genuine connection with someone can be hard and these new forms of communication come with downsides.

White ghost with black eye holes and black round mouth hole. — *Ghosting is one of the many dating fails people have to worry about. Be upfront an ask for the same back.*

How do you know if they are truly interested? Or, are they benching you, roaching you, or leading you on just to ghost you. Beware the dating fails.

If you want to set a good example, be upfront about what you are looking for and be vocal that you expect the same thing in return. Ghosting mostly comes from not wanting to hurt people’s feelings, but you do more damage in the long run by trying to hide. Just be honest so that the other person knows the truth. We are all responsible for our emotional health.

If you deal with any of these dating fails, learn from them and move on. Do not let them get to you, you are not the problem. You are more than just an option to be pocketed or benched. Love yourself, and do not move backwards Remember, there aren’t any manuals for dating; it’s just a bunch of trials and plenty of errors until you find the right one.

The Importance Of Seniors Getting The Flu Shot

Influenza is back again–and the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) has sky-high estimates for this year. During the 2018-2019 flu season, up to 647,000 people were hospitalized and 61,200 died from the illness. Most of these fatalities were seniors, which is why it is more important than ever that seniors protect themselves against the flu.

Black and white picture of a woman in hospital bed with IV — *Most cases of hospitalization and fatalities from the flu in 2018-2019 were seniors.*

Because of these numbers, we see that seniors and caregivers are the most at-risk populations. If you want to reduce your risk, you must get a flu shot. It won’t guarantee complete protection, but it does significantly help the immune systems of high-risk individuals. Not only that, but even if you catch the flu, the shot can lessen your symptoms and reduce the chance of complications.

The Two Vaccines

There are several shots available, but there are two specific vaccines geared towards people 65 and older. These are Fluzone and Fluad.

Fluzone High-Dose
This 3-component flu vaccine contains four times the antigen of standard-dose influenza vaccines. The antigen is the “active ingredient,” so to speak, that helps your body build protection from the virus. The higher dose is meant to give older adults a better immune response. A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine indicated that the high-dose vaccine was 24.2% more effective in preventing flu than the standard dose.
Fluad
A 2012 Canadian observational study showed that Fluad was 63% more effective than a regular flu shot. It was made available in the U.S. in 2016. This 3-component vaccine contains an ingredient named adjuvant MF59. MF59 is an oil-in-water mixture of squalene (a naturally occurring substance found in humans, plants, and animals). MF59 is inserted into the vaccine in order to promote a better immune response.

In the past, it was warned that people with an egg allergy should avoid the vaccines due to the tiny amounts of egg proteins in them. However, current research suggests that the shot is safe for people with egg allergies.

William Schaffner, M.D., an infectious disease specialist and professor at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine says “It was long thought that it might be due to the eggs, but in the last 10 years, there have been a number of studies by allergists that have shown that the traces of egg protein in flu vaccine are not the cause of these allergic reactions.”

A person sitting down getting a shot in their upper arm. — *Studies have shown that vaccinated seniors reduced their risk of flu hospitalization by 50%.*

The flu virus has no specific target when it attacks. However, a senior has a far greater risk of serious complications, hospitalization, and even death from the virus. It is better for a senior to be safe and have protection than possibly contracting a fatal bacteria.

All the vaccine does is boost the immune system, which weakens as a person ages. Studies have shown that vaccinated seniors reduced their risk of flu hospitalization by 50%.

The vaccines are free under Medicare, so no coinsurance or copayment is needed. You get protection from the virus, a stronger immune system, and if you do contract it, a reduced chance of complications–all for free! Take the necessary precautions by washing your hands often, avoiding someone who is sick, and getting the vaccine. It might just save your life.

Don’t Wait For Santa, Help An Isolated Senior This Christmas

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, to some. To others, especially lonely seniors, it is a very depressing time. Some seniors exist in the “assisted living” environment; they cannot travel to see loved ones, don’t get visits, or are immobile. To make matters worse, some are dealing with the loss of a loved one, even a partner.

Santa hands holding wrapped gifts — *You can volunteer to help make a lonely senior happy this Christmas by volunteering in the Be A Santa To A Senior program.*

If you are looking for a way to give back to the community, try volunteering in the Be a Santa to a Senior Program. This program is a holiday-oriented and was created to give attention and joy to isolated seniors.

The Program

During the holiday season, Home Instead Senior Care partners up with local non-profit, community organizations to find seniors who are lonely and not receiving gifts. They ask the seniors what they need, and then they create a tree ornament with the request. Local businesses like retail stores help Home Instead by placing these trees in their lobbies or otherwise.

How You Can Help

You can make a senior’s day this Christmas by participating in the Be a Santa to a Senior Program. The gift, no matter how small, could completely change their holiday. Kindness is the real gift here, and showing this person that they are not alone. Someone cares enough to give up their time to help a stranger.

You can help by:

Finding a participating Be a Santa to a Senior location.
Removing an ornament off the tree with a senior’s gift request.
Purchasing the gift requested.
Putting the ornament and the unwrapped gift in the designated box at the participating store.

Christmas tree with silver ornaments — *Seniors will write what they need and it will be put on an ornament. You can pick up the ornament and buy what they ask for and bring it back to the store.*

The program began in 2003 and runs across the USA and Canada, and has helped by providing more than a million gifts to 700,000 seniors. An example of a request can be “a pair of reading glasses for Sam.”

When you purchase the request and place it in the designated box, it is then gathered by volunteers. These volunteers collect the items, wrap them, and deliver them to the seniors.

You can give a lonely senior knowledge that someone cares;. A stranger went out of their way to get them something from their Christmas list.

Depression in seniors impairs their ability to function and enjoy life. It can also contribute to poorer overall health, not to mention a higher suicide risk. According to data collected in 2015, people 85 years old and older had the second-highest suicide rate in the U.S.

If you are able to give up some of your time and a small amount of money, find a participating Be A Santa To A Senior location and grab a bulb (ornament). You will make that senior’s Christmas joyful, and unforgettable. Everyone can use a little pick-me-up during the holiday season, so why not be a Santa to a senior who needs it?

How To Talk Dirty Without Feeling Awkward

If you are like me, then talking dirty can lead to some cringe-worthy moments. It’s no secret that “dirty talk” is one part of sex that most people, well, talk about.

I get it–it’s a turn-on hearing how bad the person wants you, or how much they like what you are doing. However, many people, like myself, can feel awkward or overwhelmed when they’re put on the spot. You don’t want to sound fake or insincere.

Caucasian womand mouth — *People like to be told what they’re doing right, including in the bedroom. Talking dirty spices up your sex life, and it doesn’t have to be complicated.*

While it’s not a requirement we often want to try new things if we think they will interest our partner. Thankfully, you do not have to create a script to memorize or go full-on XXX rated. Sometimes, keeping it simple really does the trick. If you want to try something new I have a few helpful tips that got me started, but remember, you never have to do anything that you are uncomfortable with! Don’t force it! Enjoy it or find the things you both DO enjoy!

How To Start

Start small, and don’t overthink it. If you feel awkward, then take baby steps, so to speak, with light questions that are on topic.

Let the person know it feels good by telling them in subtle yet sexy way. You can also ask what they want you to do. Keep it fun and flirty. It is not what you say, but how you say it. Tone is everything. That’s why it doesn’t work if you’re nervous. Like most things, confidence is key.

Nicknames

If you have nicknames for each other, then bring it in the bedroom. Some people like to be called baby, or daddy. Ask your partner what they would like to be called, and then incorporate it in the bedroom.

Tell Them What You Want

Not only is it great dirty talk, but giving directions to your partner can make for better sex–even a stronger climax. Take control of the situation, and let them know exactly what you want.

Try to stick to things you normally do in the bedroom so your partner is not caught off guard. Whisper to them exactly what you want them to do, and how it feels while it is being done.

Mural on a wall with the words "you are beautiful" in a hand — *People like to be complimented. Compliment your partner in the bedroom on their body, smell, or taste.*

Compliment Them

Compliments go a long way, especially in the bedroom. Who doesn’t like to hear that they are doing a great job, especially when it comes to pleasing their partner? Compliment your partner’s body, body parts, smell, taste, or the way they make you feel. Increasing their confidence in bed is a bonus.

Laugh

You do not always have to be so serious, so do not be afraid to laugh. Laughing in the bedroom is a great way to relieve some of the tension, especially if you are nervous. Just make sure why you’re laughing is apparent. Otherwise, you could end up in a sticky situation, and not in a good way.

Dirty talk does not have to be an awkward nightmare These are some quick, dirty tips for you to talk about:

what they like
what you are doing
what feels good
…and what you want more of
You can whisper into your partner’s ear to tell them what you want done to you and how it feels.

It is as simple as that. While nicknames bring some spice into the bedroom, your dirty talk can be a sneaky way to up your communication game, all in the best of scenarios.

This can help you and your partner have a better experience, more fun with it, and possibly increase your romantic connection. Do not be afraid to give it a try. Life is more fun when you play in the dirt!

Can Hearing Aids Reduce Your Risk Of Dementia?

Hearing loss affects one-third of people over the age of 65, and two-thirds of those over 70. Many people who deal with hearing loss refuse a hearing aid, even when their insurance helps pay for it.

A road with the words dementia on it, and the wky in puzzle pieces with pieces missing. — *The risk of dementa can be reduced by using a hearing aid.*

Hearing aids do more than just help with hearing loss. Most people are unaware that hearing loss increases the likelihood of dementia, depression, balance issues, and anxiety. Therefore, by using hearing aids, you can improve your quality of life and lower your risk of dementia.

Understanding the Research

A University of Michigan team used data from nearly 115,000 people over age 66 with hearing loss. From 2008 to 2016, Elham Mahmoudi, MBA, Ph.D and her colleagues looked at the data for each person with hearing loss. They gathered this info one year before their diagnosis and then again three years later.

The study shows that men were more likely to get hearing aids than women. It also showed almost 37% of people with hearing loss in the north-central part of the US used hearing aids compared to the people in mountain states.

Those with hearing aids within the three years were 18% less likely to get diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s. Hearing aid users had an 11% lower risk of being diagnosed with depression, and a 13% lower risk of fall-related injuries.

Because of Dr. Mahmoudi and her colleagues, we see that hearing aids can help in other areas.

Reducing Risk Factors

Hand holding a hearing aid. — *Because they are able to enjoy life more, people with hearing aids are less likely to develop dementia and depression.*

Because they are able to enjoy life more, people with hearing aids are less likely to develop dementia and depression. They are more social, which in turn boosts cognitive health.

“Older people with hearing loss who wear hearing aids may be better educated or may socialize more, factors which are also associated with a reduced risk of dementia,” said Dr. David Loughrey, a research psychologist specializing in hearing and cognition.

Social isolation can result in less brain stimulation, and hearing loss promotes cognitive decline because you don’t have as much auditory input. Over time, the brain’s auditory centers degenerate, which in turn makes the brain struggle to compensate. It has to use more sources to process this information. Studies and scans show that your brain shrinks as you lose hearing.

Payment

When it comes to payment, Medicare Part B will cover a hearing exam if your doctor finds it necessary. Only four states (New Hampshire, Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Arkansas) are required to cover hearing aid expenses, which probably contributes to their lack of popularity. Paying for hearing aids out-of-pocket can cost thousands of dollars.

However, there’s good news. The FDA has approved over-the-counter hearing aids for sale in 2020. They hope more people will purchase them with mild or moderate hearing loss.

From what Dr. Mahmoudi found, we can safely say that hearing loss affects your mental state. In order to stay on top of your overall well-being, invest in a hearing aid. You will be doing your mental, physical, and emotional health a favor. Just because hearing loss is an issue, does not mean you can not help promote a better life by getting a hearing aid. Hopefully, they will be available over-the-counter soon, or Medicare will offer more assistance in the future.

Are You At Risk For HPV?

You would think with the rise of Human Papillomavirus(HPV) cases, the number of vaccinations would also rise. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. HPV is the most common STI because people don’t know how to protect themselves.

To make matters worse, a study conducted in 2018 found that almost 70% of adults don’t know that anal, penile, and oral cancers can come from HPV infections. Because of this, there are an estimated 24 million active cases, and 5.5 million new cases each year.

the word "cancer" in a newspaper article magnified by a magnifying glass — *About 70% of adults are unaware that HPV can cause other cancers than just cervical.*

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC), “HPV is so common that nearly all sexually active men and women get the virus at some point in their lives.” Because there usually aren’t symptoms, many people don’t know they are infected, especially men.

Men can blindly spread it to women because they don’t know what to look for. If left untreated, HPV can lead to a variety of cancers for both sexes.

Texas Study on HPV Awareness

Researchers from UTHealth conducted a study with 2,564 men and 3,697 women. The group was split into three age groups of 18-26 years, 27-45 years, and 45 years and older. They asked each group about HPV and cancer.

Of the age groups:

In people aged 18-26 years, about 92% of men, and 79% of women were unaware that HPV causes anal, penile, and oral cancers
In people aged 27-45 years, about 89% of men, and 78% of women were unaware.
In people aged 46 years and older, about 85% of men, and 78% of women were unaware.

Risk Factors for Contracting HPV

A graph of gold bars going up with an upward arrow above the bars. — *A high number of sex partners is a contributing risk factor to contracting HPV.*

If you were like these age groups, you might also be unaware of how you contract HPV. Get checked by your doctor if you:

Have a high number of sexual partners.
Have a history of STIs.
Have HIV.
Have a weakened immune system.
Had sex at a young age.

Prevention

Both the CDC and physicians recommend that people get HPV vaccinations as early as 9-years-old until they turn 27. In 2006, HPV vaccines were recommended just for girls to prevent cervical cancer. By 2001, it was recommended that boys get the vaccine too. This was because of science showed that men are also at risk for HPV related cancers and genital warts.

Boys and girls ages 9-14 should receive a 2-dose vaccine six months apart, but if the vaccine was administered after 15-years-old, then it is a 3-dose.

Co-lead study author Kalyani Sonawane, Ph.D. said, “Low levels of HPV knowledge in these older age groups is particularly concerning, given that these individuals are (or will likely be) parents responsible to making HPV vaccination decisions for their children.”

Caucasian woman with a side braid and light blue collared shirt on shrugging with her hands mid waist. — *People do not know how to protect themselves because they are unaware of the true dangers of HPV.*

As the study showed, more than half of adults between the ages of 27 and 45 are unaware that HPV is linked to multiple cancers. This is most likely why people do not take HPV seriously.

However, as science shows, we need to take it seriously. We can see that at first, it was just linked to cervical cancer in women. When more studies were conducted, it was linked to penile, anal, and oral cancers in both sexes. Now that we have a better idea, more people need to be aware of it.

The truth is, it is no one’s fault that people don’t know. We can take steps to inform more people so that they have better chances to be protected, especially if they meet a lot of risk factors. In order to decrease the number of HPV cases, physicians, schools, and parents all need to spread awareness of the infection and its vaccinations.

Tag: healthy lifestyle