healthy lifestyle Archives - Page 22 of 54

Why You Need to Ditch the ‘Doomscrolling’

Way back in 2018, in the “before times,” someone coined a word in a Twitter post. The tweet didn’t get much attention and was only retweeted by two people, but we were all destined to hear the word over and over again after the arrival of the coronavirus pandemic. The word? “Doomscrolling.” This term has become so widely used (and the practice has become so widespread) that Merriam-Webster has even placed it on their “words we’re watching” list, meaning it could soon be an official dictionary entry. For now Webster describes the term as “the tendency to continue to surf or scroll through bad news, even though that news is saddening, disheartening, or depressing.” Sound familiar? Yeah, for us, too. Think it’s good for you? Nope, we didn’t think so, either. So why do you do it and how can you stop?

Why We Can’t Quit the Doom and Gloom

Have you found yourself turning more and more to social media in the last year and a half? If so, you’re not alone. Twitter’s daily use numbers have jumped 24% since the start of the pandemic, while Facebook’s numbers are up 27%. Now, we’re not saying that everyone on those platforms is constantly doomscrolling, but there sure is a lot of negativity to soak up on social media and in the news cycle, and many of us are eagerly consuming it. Do the words of this self-described doomscrolling addict apply to you? Last year, in an online editorial, Elaine Roth wrote, “Every morning I wake up and press refresh on the websites that track the number of positive COVID-19 tests in my town and state. Then I move to the news and read every word of every article that is no doubt pointing to the end of the world.”Even if there is a very bright light at the end of the tunnel regarding Covid, the cycle of bad news can seem never ending, and it might be that we’ve become addicted to the doom and gloom. And there are actually strong psychological and even evolutionary reasons for this; the addition of addictive, modern technology like smartphones is simply allowing us to indulge more easily in our darker tendencies. Why do we doomscroll?

The psychological factor: The last year and a half has been exhausting, am I right? A pandemic, social unrest, a nail-biting election, and on and on. All of this has left many of us, well, a little battered psychologically. In fact, late last summer, the CDC reported that nearly 41% of U.S. adults have symptoms of at least one adverse mental or behavioral health condition, including anxiety. And according to psychotherapist Tess Brigham, “anxiety is about control or the lack of control…The more anxious we feel, the more we try and control the situations and people around us. Being informed seems like a good way to control what’s happening around us, but it actually just creates more anxiety and fear.” She points out, “People doomscroll for many different reasons. The main reason is as a way of feeling in control in a world that feels so out of control all the time.”

So, it’s possible that some people are doomscrolling in order to give themselves a (false) feeling of preparedness: the old, “if I can see it coming, I’ll be ready for it” mindset. For others, it might simply be a strangely comforting confirmation of their feelings. According to psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD, “If you’re depressed, you often look for information that can confirm how you feel. If you’re feeling negative, then reading negative news reconfirms how you feel. It’s the same mindset.”

The evolutionary factor: Remember learning about the “fight or flight” instinct? You know, the one that helped humans back in the day run from predators, and can still help us if we’re in a dangerous situation? Well, that response could partially explain why we need to stay on top of all that bad news. Again according to Tess Brigham, “We are hardwired to survive and to see the things that could potentially harm us. That’s in our DNA and our ancestors needed this ability in order to literally survive. While our world is very different, we still have this drive to keep ourselves safe which we think we’re doing by reading negative news stories.”

All of the above helps to explain why we do it, even if we know it’s not good for us. So what exactly is doomscrolling doing to us?

The Effects of Non Stop Negativity

While doomscrolling as a pastime is relatively new (simply because we’ve only had social media and smartphones for a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things), researchers have actually been studying the effects of being bombarded with bad news for decades. And what they’ve found probably isn’t all that surprising: the more news a person consumes surrounding events like terrorist attacks and natural disasters, the more likely they are to suffer from depression, stress and anxiety. For example, a 2014 study surveyed 4,675 Americans in the weeks following the Boston Marathon bombings and found that participants who engaged with more than 6 hours of media coverage per day were 9 times more likely to be acutely stressed than those who only watched a minimal amount of news.

Another study in the 1990s in England found that, unsurprisingly, participants given negative news coverage to watch (as opposed to others who were given positive or neutral coverage), were more likely to feel more sad and anxious after the experiment. In addition, according to lead researcher Graham Davey, “It also had a knock-on effect. People [in the negative group] were more likely to worry about their own private concerns.”

illustration of woman who can't sleep with sheep over her head — *Adrenaline rushes can affect your health and cause you to have issues sleeping.*

And in a troubling study following the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, researchers found that TV exposure at the time of the attack was associated with post-traumatic stress symptoms two and three years later. “You didn’t have to live near the epicenter of the attacks, you could just as easily be in rural Alabama,” said Judith Andersen, a health psychologist at the University of Toronto in Canada who worked on the study. “It was dependent on how much media you consumed.”

All of those studies point to what we’ve assumed all along about doomscrolling: it’s most likely taking a huge toll on your mental health. Not only that, but the psychological impacts of doomscrolling can also come with some pretty serious physical effects. Remember the fight or flight instinct that could be keeping us glued to our phones? Having a response like this releases a rush of cortisol and adrenaline, which can make someone super strong, heighten their senses, or allow them to stay awake for long periods of time – but that’s in small doses. Releasing too much adrenaline and cortisol (which is, after all, the “stress” hormone) over a long period of time can cause burnout and even begin to affect your physical health. Stress like that over long periods has been linked to digestive problems, headaches, heart disease, weight gain, sleep issues, sexual side effects, and high blood pressure, among other things.

Ditch the Doomscrolling!

Sounds like it’s time to have a serious talk with ourselves about the doomscrolling. There’s nothing wrong with staying on top of current events – no one’s suggesting we all stick our heads in the sand! – but there has to be a balance. If you’re ready for a negativity intervention, try the following:

Set limits – Some mindless scrolling is ok, but if you find that you end up going down a doomscrolling rabbit hole after a few minutes of checking on what your friends are up to, set a time limit. Try 20 minutes – and stick to it! In addition, avoid checking your phone immediately upon waking up, or right before bed.

Be mindful – You don’t necessarily need to become a yogi and or start meditating (unless that’s what helps you), but at least be mindful when it comes to how your social media or news consumption is making you feel. Dr. Albers suggests, “Be mindful of how a particular article makes you feel as you are scrolling by it. Notice or observe the sensations in your body or your mind’s response to the news.” Are you feeling anxious or stressed? “This,” she adds, “is your body’s way of saying stop.” So you should listen and turn your attention to something else – preferable not on a screen.

Slow your scroll – The human attention span is very short; try to increase your focus and concentration (and your ability to rationalize) by slowing down your scrolling. If you’re not speeding through the news you’ll also be more likely to read past the headlines, which are usually far more sensationalized than the content of the story warrants.

Stop catastrophizing – “Catastrophizing” is when your brain automatically jumps to the worst-case scenario, and doomscrolling is the perfect way to engage in this supremely unhelpful practice. When you find yourself spiraling out of control and anxiety taking hold, take a step back and ask yourself what the most likely or realistic outcome of a situation actually is.

Take time to unplug – Simplest way to take a break from the doomscrolling? Put down the phone, go offline and take time for yourself in other ways. As Quartz reporter Karen Ho suggested in a tweet, “Tonight was really long, confusing, and difficult. Why not take care of yourself and your mental health by turning off your phone, reading a book, and going to sleep early?” We’ll add to that list: try going for a hike, doing some exercise or spending time with loved ones.

Be the positivity – Yes, you can try to engage more positively with the internet – hey, there’s no shortage of cats and babies doing adorable things out there! But you can also lift yourself up by being a force of positivity in the real world. Perform random acts of kindness, smile at people, help a friend, volunteer – whatever you choose to do, you could single-handedly restore your own faith in humanity, at least for a little while.

Bad news is nothing new: we all know that social media and the 24-hour news cycle didn’t invent negativity. That being said, how we engage with it, and how much of it we consume, has changed. But you can break the doomscrolling habit and improve both your mental and physical health! Stay informed, but focus on the things that you can be grateful for instead of the things to be anxious about, and you might find that you have a sense of optimism, even in unstable times. And don’t forget to spread that positivity around!

Advocating for Transgender Youth

Think back to the toughest time of your life (besides the 2020-21 lockdown). Was it sometime in your adolescence or early teenage years? For many people, all of the confusing changes of youth can be difficult; it can also be difficult figuring out who you are and dealing with the way that others see you. Now think about how tough your childhood and teenage years would be if you felt like you weren’t what everyone treated you as or what they expected you to be: what if you knew as a young person that you were transgender? Or, try looking at it this way: what if you were the parent of a young transgender person, and didn’t know where to turn for resources and support? Thanks to Susan Maasch, founder of Maine-based national nonprofit Trans Youth Equality Foundation (TYEF), transgender children and their families have had somewhere to turn since 2007.

“We Felt Like We Were Floating Alone”

picture of Susan Maasch — *Susan Maasch, founder of TYEF, created the non-profit organization after her son came out as transgender and there were little to no rescources.*

Susan Maasch didn’t have to imagine what it would be like for a young child to come out to their parents as transgender. She watched it play out before her eyes: her own son came out as transgender at the age of 6 back in 2002. He was one of the lucky children, who had parents who wanted to support him. But, back in 2002, the key phrase was wanted to. Maasch talked about the frustrations that she came up against when her son came out in a recent podcast: “For myself, I had a transgender son, he came out to our family, he was 6-years-old at the time and we definitely felt like we were absolutely floating alone. The pediatrician didn’t know anything, anywhere we turned…and I remember thinking, ‘I’m a very resourceful person and a lot of people aren’t, a lot of parents are overwhelmed and how are these other parents going to get help that are going through the same thing?’ We were unable to get any advice, or certainly any appropriate advice from doctors, schools…so that’s how we decided to start the foundation.”

TYEF is founded on Maasch’s “resourcefulness” and her determination to advocate for and support her son. According to Maasch, “One way that we funded it was my son had experienced some very serious discrimination at school and we sued the school – and wilth some of the money that we received from that suit, we took some of that and started the foundation.” With some good friends and some transgender and youth providers, she began, from the ground up, to build the support and advocacy network that she had been unable to access for five long years. And so, in 2007, TYEF was born.

It immediately took off: “You know, I can’t say how many children we helped in those first few years!” says Maasch. “One of the reasons it grew so quickly…was sort of marketing – I came from a fine art background…I had to learn a lot about art marketing over the years, and I just used that marketing background. So we just sort of aggressively made sure that kids and parents could find us at a time when they could have been coming from anywhere, because there were no local resources, that’s how we got started.”

In 2017 alone, for example, TYEF served over 2,600 kids, up from over 800 in 2014 and 1,200 in 2015. And what do they do to support trans children? They have an impressive array of services and programs that they offer, and they serve children all over the country. For parents of transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth, they offer supportive shared experience discussions, resources, guest speakers and more. For transgender and gender non-conforming kids, ages 2-18, they offer support group discussions, community-building and social activities. They also offer things like legal and medical council, as well as resources for educators. They even have a summer camp specifically for trans youth.

TYEF has changed the landscape of support and advocacy for trans kids and their family, and it couldn’t have come soon enough. As Maasch says, “In those days [when her son came out] we definitely had kids that were more in a dark place, there was less help for them…It was so great to be at the beginning of the trans child movement and to be pushing that forward in a way that was so needed.” But the work is not yet done.

“Things Are Going to Get Dark Before They Get Better”

no one id free when others are oppressed written in front of purple flowers — *“What many [families] would do…is to pretend that they are going to will it away.”*

Trans Youth Equality Network and the work it does is vital: the need to support transgender youth can’t be overstated. Unfortunately, though, as Maasch acknowledges, many kids do not get what they need, even from their own families: “what many [families] would do…is to pretend that they are going to will it away.” Wishing one’s child’s true identity away is not helpful – and it is not realistic. There is a sizable portion of the youth population that identifies as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth. In fact, the CDC actually estimates that almost 2% of young people identify as transgender, which means that there are at least 1.3 million trans youth ages 0-17. That’s a lot of kids in need of support; unfortunately, though, studies show that only 27% of trans youth say their families are very supportive, and fewer than half (43%) say they have an adult in their family they could turn to if they felt sad or worried. In addition, only 9% of trans youth say their community is very accepting.

All-in-all, those are worrying statistics, especially considering how essential having a support network is to trans young people’s mental health. Trans youth are especially vulnerable to mental health issues, including thoughts of suicide; according to a major study done by The Trevor Project in 2020, more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth have seriously considered suicide. As Maasch says, “If you ignore the needs of a transgender child, things are going to get dark before they get better if you don’t support them and listen in some way.”

Maasch drives home how a lack of support can end in tragedy. “We did have a kid [we supported at TYEF] whose father was just adamant that there was no way he was going to support this, and unfortunately his son became more and more depressed… and took his life…,” Maasch says, and his father realized that he “waited too long to come around… It was heartbreaking.”

“It’s a Beautiful Journey”

But there is good news: supporting trans youth has a measurable effect. It works, and the numbers confirm that: studies show that trans youth who have support experience a 52% decrease in suicidal thoughts, and a 46% decrease in suicide attempts. She also points out that it sometimes just takes reaching out to people to change things: “I always tell the kids that parents that seem absolutely like they will never come around often do come around.”

And experiences like TYEF’s camp, where kids who are transitioning can meet other trans kids at different points in the journey, can make a huge difference in these young people’s self-esteem. For example, the parents of one young trans girl, Maya, told Vice News: “‘When she came back from camp, she was bounding across the kitchen,’ [Maya’s mother] said. ‘She was more talkative after that. Her personality was amplified,’ [her father] added.” Being around other trans kids showed Maya that she wasn’t alone. “’I know who I want to be, and I’m just going to do it,’ Maya recalled thinking. ‘Now it’s not who I want to be, but it’s who I am.’”Ultimately, what Maasch wants us to remember is that trans children are in need of support and more understanding, and that needs to come from everyone, not just families with trans children. According to Maasch,

“[All experts agree] the mental health issues that transgender children experince is from the rejection, rejecton from their peers, from discrimination. It is not inherent to transgender children that they have mental illness, and of course many don’t, especially if they have support…The only reason they suffer from mental illness and have that kind of deep pain, higher rates of suicide, three times the depression of other children is because of that discrimination..it actually says that in the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders], we want to keep that in mind…I’ve thought about this a lot as the parent of transgender child…we teach our children to not make fun, I mean its a pretty cruel world out there, but to not make fun when children have medical conditions, and yet children feel that they can make fun of and be abusive to transgender children…they’re thought of as ‘less than’ in some places and we need to fight that.”

And the takeaway for parents of transgender children? As Maasch says, “Remember that it is stressful, and it’s time for you to practice self-care. And know that as tough as this journey is…that it’s also a beautiful journey and not to lose sight of that, because it’s a beautiful thing to be on that journey with your child, a journey of acceptance and reliability and trust and guiding your child and protecting them and teaching them what authentic love is. I mean there’s something beautiful about that and they’ll always, alway remember that you were there for them and it will give them inner strength.”If you would like to help, you can donate to TYEF here. If you are in need of resources, including recommended books, legal advice, Q&As, and helpful videos, please check out their website.

Avoid These Common Summer Health Hazards!

Summer is here and everyone is beginning to loosen up and get ready for summer fun. But just because summer is here doesn’t mean you can be totally carefree! We don’t want to be a buzzkill, but, while there is tons of enjoyment to be had in the summer, there are also plenty of health risks out there that you need to be prepared for, especially as the milder days of June give way to the more scorching months ahead. But never fear! Knowledge is power, and being aware of the risks out there – and how to avoid or deal with them – will mean that you’re ready to have some serious and healthy fun this summer.

Sunburn and Sun Damage

Maybe you already know some of the risks of sunburn: it’s painful and itchy, can cause sun damage that ages your skin with wrinkles, fine lines and sun spots, and can lead to more serious issues like melanoma and other skin cancers. The last risk is real and very worrying: your risk for melanoma doubles if you’ve had just five sunburns in your life.

Unfortunately, we don’t seem to be changing our behavior when it comes to sun exposure: in fact, the percentage of adults nationwide who got at least one sunburn during the previous year has risen from 31.8% to 33.7% in the last few decades. The solution is simple, even if it means a few extra minutes of getting ready before heading outside: make putting on sunscreen that protects against UVB and UVA rays (preferably a healthier, reef-safe choice) a daily habit, whatever the weather. And if you’re going to be outside for a longer period of time, remember to reapply often (as least every 2 hours depending on what you’re doing). In addition, consider wearing a wide-brimmed hat and/or clothes that cover as much as possible and limiting your time in the blistering midday sun.What to do if you do end up with a nasty sunburn?

Drink plenty of water
Soak the burn in cool water, or apply a cool, damp cloth
Take an over-the-counter pain reliever
Treat it with an anti-itch cream or spray
Apply aloe vera gel or cream, or an antibiotic cream for more severe burns

Eye Damage

Your skin isn’t the only part of your body that can take a hit during the sunny summer months: your eyes can easily become damaged by the bright sunlight. Be sure to wear sunglasses that specifically protect against UV rays, otherwise you could actually be doing more harm than good. Sunglasses that don’t block UV rays open up your pupils by making things darker, which actually lets in more UV rays, not less. Hey, take this as an excuse to pick up some stylish shades – just be sure your sunglasses filter out 100% of UV light!

Dehydration

Feeling thirsty? Don’t ignore that feeling in the scorching summer months; in fact, don’t wait until you’re feeling parched to start rehydrating, because it could be too late! Dehydration can be a real problem in the summer, especially if you’re enjoying some summer cocktails, engaging in outdoor sports, or even just lounging outside for prolonged periods in the hot sun. Signs of dehydration to look out for include:

picture of dry lips — *Dry mouth or lips are a sign of dehydration.*

Feeling thirsty
Dry mouth, lips, and/or eyes
Dark yellow, strong-smelling pee
Feeling tired
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Muscle cramps
As dehydration becomes more severe, your eyes might stop making tears, you might stop sweating, and you might feel nauseous and vomit

The solution is to simply drink more water or other fluids, preferable those without any sugar in them. If you plan on lounging or sweating outside, aim to drink 16 ounces of water every hour, and try to keep strenuous activity to a minimum between the hours of 12pm and 3pm, when the sun is the strongest.

Rashes

All of that lush greenery around during summer is beautiful, but some of it can spell major trouble for your skin. Plants like poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac can cause terrible, itchy rashes, so if you’re the outdoorsy type and are planning on doing things like camping or hiking, make sure you know what all of these plants look like. Knowledge is your first defense; your next defense should be to shower thoroughly after yard work, hiking, camping, or doing other outdoor activities. Finally, always keep a bottle of calamine lotion on hand to combat any itchy rashes that pop up!

Rashes caused by plant life aren’t the only summer skin woe: all that summer sweat could land you with a case of heat rash, or prickly heat. This red, bumpy rash is caused by blocked sweat ducts, and can become dry, itchy, irritated and downright uncomfortable. To prevent heat rash:

Wear loose clothing made from breathable fabrics like cotton
Avoid exercising in excessively hot, humid conditions
Take time out to relax in some air conditioning, or in front of a fan
Shower often to prevent sweat glands from becoming clogged

Food Poisoning

Ants aren’t the only thing that can ruin a lovely summer picnic – food that’s been improperly handled could lead to a nasty bout of food poisoning. Each year, 1 in 6 Americans (48 million people) contract food poisoning, with the illness peaking in the summer months. According to Ryan Stanton, MD, an emergency room physician in Kentucky, “Anything that has mayonnaise, dairy, or eggs in it and any meat products can develop some pretty nasty bacteria after only a couple of hours unrefrigerated,” says Stanton. “Every summer we’ll have five or six people coming in from the same reunion or family picnic with food poisoning symptoms.”

To keep the tummy troubles away:

Chill out – If you’re bringing along anything that needs to be refrigerated, pack it at the last minute, and once you head out, keep it in a cooler with plenty of ice.

Pack it properly – Not only should perishable foods be packed with ice, but they should also be packed in order of when you’re going to eat them – use the “last in, first out” rule! In addition, if you’re bringing along any meats, make sure to wrap them securely so that the juices don’t contaminate other foods.

Take the temperature – If you’re grilling at your picnic, make sure you bring along a meat thermometer to check that those foods that look perfectly grilled are actually cooked all the way through. Remember, steaks should be cooked to a minimum of 145 degrees F, ground beef to 160 and poultry to 165.

And if you do eat the dreaded spoiled deviled egg? As long as your symptoms are mild and you feel better after a day or two, you can treat your food poisoning at home with a bland diet, plenty of fluids, and rest. If symptoms are more severe, or last for several days (or more than 24 hours for kids), see your doctor.

Insect Bites

The warm, lazy days of summer don’t just bring out hordes of people – they also bring out all the insects. Coming in contact with them can be annoying, painful, or downright dangerous. For example, for some people, bee stings hurt, and for others (3 in every 100 people), they can cause serious allergic reactions. Other insects, such as mosquitoes, fleas, and ticks can carry diseases like West Nile virus, Dengue fever, and Lyme disease. In fact, according to the CDC, disease cases from ticks, mosquitoes, and fleas more than tripled in the U.S. from 2004 to 2016. To prevent stings and bites:

Apply insect repellent before heading out
Cover up as much as possible
Avoid heavy perfumes and scents, which attract stinging insects
Wear light colored clothing, as dark-colored and floral-patterned clothing attracts stinging insects. In addition, wearing light colored clothing makes it easier to see ticks before they latch on.
Tuck in clothing to make it more difficult for insects like ticks to bite
Check thoroughly for ticks after spending time outdoors – the longer the tick is attached, the greater the risk of disease.

Heatstroke and Heat Exhaustion

the back of someone sitting down with a blue shirt on soaked in sweat — *Heavy sweating is a warning sign of heat exhaustion.*

Did you know that, according to the CDC, extreme heat sends an average of 65,000 Americans to emergency rooms every year? Heat exhaustion and heatstroke (the more severe and dangerous of the two) can occur when your body is unable to cool itself down after prolonged exposure to the heat, such as when you’re working or exercising outdoors. As with dehydration prevention, to avoid heat exhaustion, you should always take breaks in the shade or AC and limit outdoor exercise at the hottest times of the day. It’s also important to know the signs:

A body temperature of 103 degrees F or higher
Hot, red, dry, or damp skin
A fast pulse
Headache, dizziness, or confusion
Loss of consciousness
Heavy sweating
Cold, pale, clammy skin
Nausea or vomiting
Muscle cramps

Now that it’s finally summer, we hope you’ll get out there and enjoy yourselves! Barbecues, roaring campfires, days by the pool – however you do it, make the most of it, but do it safely!

Battling the Loneliness Epidemic

How would you describe the past year? Crazy? Unprecedented? And how have you felt during this crazy and unprecedented year? Scared? Frustrated? Bored? Zoom-weary? How about lonely? If so, you’re not alone (no pun intended): over the past year, a “loneliness epidemic” has been brewing, with 36% of respondents in one study last year saying they felt lonely “frequently” or “almost all of the time or all the time,” as compared with 25% in the weeks before the pandemic. Another study found that 20% of people across all age groups reported feeling lonelier than usual during the pandemic.

But the truth is that the problem didn’t start with the pandemic: a 2018 study conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation revealed that around 22% of Americans felt “constantly” alone, and a report by the health insurance company Cigna found that 60% of Americans felt some degree of loneliness, pre-pandemic. Because feeling connected to others is vital to our emotional and physical health, it’s important to find some strategies to combat the loneliness that sometimes overwhelms many of us.

Social Isolation vs Loneliness

Take the pandemic out of the picture, and, if you look at our society objectively, it seems like it would be difficult to feel lonely. If anything, we might be too connected for some people’s tastes! We have unlimited ways to digitally connect; we can (or will be able to again soon) hop on a plane and head anywhere in a matter of hours; more and more of us live in close quarters with neighbors all around us. Yet we still feel lonely, and that’s because there’s a difference between social isolation and loneliness.

silhouette of a brain with missing pieces all over — *Loneliness has been linked to a variety of health issues like anxiety and dementia.*

Social isolation is all about the amount of actual contact you have with others, while loneliness is much more subjective: it’s all about how you experience being alone or even how connected you feel to those around you. Think about it this way: just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you’re going to feel lonely, and just because there are people all around you doesn’t mean you’re not going to feel lonely. So it becomes very important to name loneliness, and to validate it; recognize that it is different from being alone, and that it is not shameful. Once you do that, you can begin to release those feelings.

The Physical Risks of Loneliness

It’s not only important for our mental well-being to deal with our feelings of loneliness, it can also be vital to our physical health. Studies show that loneliness isn’t only linked to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and suicide, it is also linked to a variety of health problems like dementia and heart conditions. It has also been shown that people without social support have lower chances of full recovery after a serious illness than people with a strong network. In fact, the health consequences of loneliness are often compared to the effects of smoking 15 cigarettes a day – and far fewer people do that than there are people who feel lonely every day!

Strategies for Coping with Loneliness

So if you’re struggling with loneliness, what can you do to help improve your emotional and physical well-being, as well as to simply get more enjoyment out of life? Therapists, doctors and researchers suggest trying some of the following strategies:

Look at what you’ve got – When you’re really feeling down, it can be annoying to have people tell you to look at all the good things around you. But when it comes to feeling lonely, that can be extremely important: one of the first steps to combating loneliness, other than naming it, is to examine all of the connections you already have in your life. Maybe you’re worrying that your friends aren’t telling you how they feel about you, but they might be showing it in other ways.

notebook open with a pen on top — *Talk to yourself, and write down your feelings, so you can decide how to deal with your feelings.*

In other words, according to Kory Floyd, Professor of Communication and Psychology at the University of Arizona, “Many of us get tunnel vision when it comes to affection and intimacy, in that we ‘count’ only certain behaviors while discounting others…When people expand their definitions of affection and love to include a wider range of behaviors, they often discover that they aren’t as deprived as they originally thought.”

Talk to yourself – No, we’re not being silly here. What we mean is, when you’re feeling especially lonely, you should ask yourself questions, like what loneliness means for you. Also question whether you’re chronically lonely or lonely because of the situation you might be in at that moment in your life. Megan Bruneau, therapist and executive coach, says, “…[I]f I’m feeling loneliness more frequently than usual, I get curious about the shift. Has something changed in my relationships leading me to feel more disconnected? Have I been nurturing my current connections and creating opportunities for new ones that make me feel ‘seen’? Am I intentionally or accidentally isolating [myself]?” Look at what’s going on with you, so that you can decide how best to deal with your feelings.

Hit the brakes – When you think of loneliness, do you equate it with boredom? Well, the opposite might actually be the case: sometimes when you’re too busy you can get wrapped up in all of that stuff that needs to get done, and you can start to feel disconnected from the people around you. Psychiatrist Judith Orloff, MD, agrees: “Sometimes when people’s schedules are back-to-back for too long, they start disconnecting from themselves and other people. They get overwhelmed from overworking and too much stimulation. So the practice [then] is just to relax and do what their body needs.” If you find yourself overwhelmed with work and your to-do list, take a step back, slow down, and first reconnect with yourself with your favorite relaxation techniques – then you can begin to reconnect in meaningful ways with the world around you.
Find kindness – If the world seems cold to you, try to find ways to warm it up. Perform a random act of kindness, like paying for someone’s coffee, or even just smiling at someone or holding the door for them. Research shows that these acts release oxytocin, otherwise known as the bonding hormone, so even just a small, brief connection with another person can relieve feelings of loneliness. Also consider getting out into your community and volunteering your time. If that’s difficult for you to do in person right now, look into virtual opportunities to give back – they could end up turning into something more in-person sooner than you think! Getting out there and doing something selfless will immediately help you feel less isolated, as will working with others towards a shared goal.

Join the club(s) – Volunteering can be one way to meet new people who have similar interests; another way is to join a club, sign up for a class, or even try something completely new – like goat yoga! If this is something that interests you, start looking for groups now that you might like to join; they might have an online presence and they might be starting to meet up in person very soon!
Adopting a pet can help you feel more fulfilled in your daily life.

Adopt a friend – It might sound like a cliche, but, really, a pet can be a person’s best friend, or at least a way to help fill a hole in your life. Whether it’s a playful dog to get you out of the house, a quiet cat to relax with on the couch, or any other furry or feathered creature, adopting a pet (and taking on the responsibility of caring for it) can help you feel more fulfilled in your daily life.

Get creative – Even if you don’t think of yourself as the “creative” type, tapping into your creative side can help ease loneliness; in fact, you can try to embrace periods of solitude as opportunities to be more self-aware and creative. According to therapist and author Shrein Bahrami, “The experience of feeling lonely can often trigger a host of other emotions. When we are connected to our emotions, allowing ourselves to feel them and express them through creativity can be quite healing and meaningful.” Try writing, sketching, painting – even dancing to your favorite music and sitting quietly and knitting can get those juices flowing!

Be careful with social media – Being social can be a great antidote for loneliness – but how about using social media? Does social media cause loneliness and depression, or make it worse? Well, that’s still up for debate, but what is more important is how it affects you and how you use it in your life. For some people, social media is genuinely a way to stay connected, but for others, it can be a way to withdraw into themselves in unhelpful ways.

When it comes to social media, first take a look at how much time you’re spending on it: according to a University of Pennsylvania study, limiting social media use to 30 minutes a day “may lead to significant improvement in well-being.” And it’s not just the amount of time you’re spending on social media that you should be examining; in fact, some researchers suggest that it’s not really how often you use it, it’s how you utilize it. Think about what you’re getting out of it and how it makes you feel. For example, using it to try to escape from the world can backfire, or scrolling through everyone else’s “curated” lives can give you serious fear of missing out (FOMO), or make you feel like you’re being purposefully not included in other people’s lives. Again according to Professor Floyd, “If we feel dissatisfied with our face-to-face relationships, we [often] retreat into the world of social media, which only exacerbates the problem. On social media, it seems as though everyone else has better jobs, better houses, better vacations, and better relationships than we do. That isn’t actually true, of course.”

Remember, if you’re feeling lonely, you’re not alone – in more ways than one! And perhaps knowing that there are others out there feeling what you’re feeling will actually help you to feel more connected to the world around you, and will tell you that it’s time to reach out. If you’re really struggling, though, please speak to a doctor, therapist, or other trusted professional. Together, we can beat the loneliness epidemic!

Proven Ways to Boost Your Credit Score

Is a low credit score stressing you out? Maybe you’re trying to get a mortgage or a credit card with amazing travel rewards and are getting “no”s everywhere you turn. You could even be running into trouble trying to rent an apartment or get a new smartphone. There’s no doubt about it: your credit score is a huge part of your financial life, so if your credit score is, well, less than stellar, you might feel frustrated and unsure what to do. But before you turn to some of those questionable credit repair companies, there are some strategies you can try to boost your credit score for free.

How Your Credit Score Is Calculated

Before we get into some clever ways to bring up your number, let’s take a look at what that number actually means. When it comes to credit scores, most lenders (or other entities that might check your credit) use the FICO credit scoring model, named for the company that developed it, Fair Isaac Corporation. This model scores your credit on a scale of 300 – 850; a score of 700 or above is generally considered “good,” and a score above 800 would be considered “excellent.” Most Americans have a score between 600 and 750; the average score in the U.S. actually increased by 7 points in 2020 to 710.

credit cards in a wallet next to a statement — *Your payment history accounts for some of your credit score. If you miss payments, it can lower your score.*

So how is this number calculated?

There are five factors that go into determining your credit score:

Your payment history accounts for 35% of your score – This includes whether you make payments on time, how often you miss payments, how many payments you have missed and how recently you have missed payments. Each time you miss a payment on a credit card bill or loan, it negatively impacts your credit score.
How much you owe on credit cards and other loans accounts for 30% of your score – This includes how much you owe on all accounts and loans, how many and what types of accounts and loans you have, and the proportion of debt you have versus available credit. If you have a lot of loans with high balances and maxed-out credit cards, this will negatively impact your score.
The length of your credit history accounts for 15% of your score – Having too much debt can negatively impact your score, but so can having no credit history. Keeping a small balance that you pay off on time is actually beneficial to your score.
The types of accounts you have accounts for 10% of your score – Similarly, having a mix of different accounts, including home loans and store and credit cards can improve your score.
Your recent credit activity accounts for 10% of your score – Opening a lot of new credit cards or applying for a lot of new loans can make it look like you’re in financial trouble, and can lower your credit score.

So now that you know how the sausage is made, so to speak, you can take some steps to improve your credit score. Some will take a little more time, like consistently making payments on time and paying down some loans, and others will boost your score more quickly, but they are all worth trying.

Reduce Your Credit Utilization Ratio

As we noted above, a major part of your credit score is the proportion of debt you owe versus the amount of credit you have available. This is known as your credit utilization ratio. For example, if you have a total credit limit of $50,000 and you’ve charged $10,000 to your credit cards, your credit utilization ratio is 20%. This would be true even if you paid off the $10,000 in full: credit bureaus use your balance in their calculation.

Because your credit utilization ratio is part of the metric that accounts for 30% of your credit score, lowering it is one way to boost your number. You should shoot to keep it below 30%; some experts say you should try not to go above 10%. How can you do this? Try:

Only charging essential purchases
Splitting your purchases between multiple credit cards
Making extra payments during the billing cycle (remember, credit bureaus look at your statement balance) if you’ve made a large purchase

Try to Increase Your Credit Limit

Having a high limit on your credit cards might seem like temptation to overspend, but it can actually help boost your credit score. Remember, you want a low credit utilization ratio, meaning you should have much more credit available to you than you’re actually using. So if you’re able to ignore that credit limit and not overspend, periodically asking your credit card companies for a credit limit increase is a good idea. Just remember:

Don’t request an increase on a new card
Don’t go through with any increases that require a hard inquiry on your credit report, as too many of these can lower your score
You can usually ask for an increase every 6 months

Check for Errors on Your Credit Report

Even banks make mistakes, and they could make reporting errors that hurt your credit score. That means you should periodically review your credit report to check for any inaccuracies; there are multiple websites that allow you to do this for free. If you do find an error, file a report with the credit bureau – and remember, no error is too small to dispute! Even something as small as your phone number being incorrect could mean that there is an unauthorized user on your account.

Become an Authorized User

Want to know a quick way to make it look like you have a longer and better credit history than you do (remember, the length of your credit history accounts for 15% of your score!)? Request to become an authorized user on a credit card that belongs to a family member with a higher credit score than yours. Being attached to a card that has a long account history (as well a history of on-time payments and a low credit utilization ratio) will positively affect your credit.

credit cards in a wallet — *Keep your old credit cards and use them periodically, and if you can, pay them in full.*

Keep Those Old Cards

You might be moving on to bigger and better credit cards, but keeping the first cards you opened could actually be beneficial to your credit score. It all comes back to your credit utilization score! If you close those old cards, you’re reducing the amount of credit you have available to you, and so effectively lowering your credit utilization ratio. Just remember to:

Make periodic purchases on your old “dormant” cards, or the credit card company will reduce your credit limit or close the account
Pay these cards off in full
Ask your credit card company to downgrade the card to one without an annual fee, if your card has an annual fee

When it comes to maintaining a healthy credit score, the first thing you should do is always make on-time payments and not spend above your means. But if you want to speed up the process and boost your score by a few points quickly, try the tips above – you might be pleasantly surprised by the change in your number!

What We Can All Learn from Pride Month

It’s June, and that means it’s Pride Month! Last year gathering together in-person was out of the picture, but this year, things are looking up! So as we reflect on the struggles we’ve been through over the past year, and as we start to feel thankful for the hopefulness on the horizon, it’s worth remembering that periods of struggle often lead to real progress and change. The same is true for the struggle for LGBTQ rights. People in this community (and their allies) have bravely fought for their rights and, while the fight is not over, they have achieved amazing things and changed our society for the better – because what society does not benefit from everyone enjoying equality and safety, and generally being able to get in on that whole life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness deal? So this Pride Month, let’s both look back at where things started and look forward to where we’re going, because there are lessons we can all learn from Pride Month.

The History of Pride Month

So why June? It’s not because of the beautiful weather, although that makes the fabulous parades (here’s hoping they come back soon!) all the more enjoyable. No, the reason that Pride Month takes place this month dates back to what is considered the start of the modern LGBTQ movement: the Stonewall riots. The LGBTQ movement didn’t start with the Stonewall riots – LGBTQ activists have been organizing since the 1920s – but they definitely provided the momentum for change, with the overflowing emotions of those times pushing the movement to a new level. silhouette of people rioting and protesting The riots all started with something that might seem unimaginable to us now, but was in no way unusual for the time. On the night of June 27 – 28, 1969, 8 police officers from New York City’s Public Moral Division, which enforced all laws regarding “vice,” like gambling, prostitution, drugs and, yes, homosexuality (they could even arrest and force hospitalization of gay people), raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in Greenwich Village. That night, though, was the night that patrons would fight back.

There are multiple myths surrounding how the riots actually began, including stories about who might have started everything by throwing the first brick (was it Marsha P. Johnson?), the first molotov cocktail (was it Sylvia Rivera?), or the first punch (was it Storme DeLarverie?), but it’s still unclear what really happened that night. What is clear is that Stonewall, and the movement it sparked, was at heart a collective uprising, which was the peak of an entire community’s frustration at their treatment. That activists like Johnson, Rivera, and DeLarverie were involved is important in that it reminds us of the huge part that LGBTQ people of color and African American Trans women played, and continue to play, in the movement.

The Stonewall riots lasted for six days, with hundreds of people resisting arrest and fighting back against police oppression. The unrest occurred at a pivotal time in US history, when there were massive societal changes happening all around, and when the media was really able to show people in real time what was happening in the world around them. That meant that coverage of the riots allowed people to see the LGBTQ struggle with their own eyes, and to relate to it as a struggle of those fighting for basic rights. The events of Stonewall also emboldened other activists to mobilize and take action.

One year later, the anniversary of the Stonewall riots was marked by demonstrations in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco. At first, the New York City day of celebration was called “Christopher Street Liberation Day.” In Los Angeles and San Francisco, these events became known as “Gay Freedom Marches,” and the day was called “Gay Freedom Day.” Chicago had Gay Pride Week. All of these events were focused on both celebration and politics, and aimed to promote visibility of the LGBTQ community, as well as to make clear what LGBTQ activists were fighting for, like protection against harassment, greater awareness of the AIDS epidemic, and marriage equality, among other rights.

The voices of these activists began to be heard, and the marches grew from having a few hundred participants to the parades and events of today, which draw hundreds of thousands of people. In the 1980s, as the culture shifted, and a different style of activist took over the parade committees, the words “liberation” and “freedom” were dropped from the events, and the term “Gay Pride” became popularized.

Pride Today

Now, in the 21st century, June is celebrated as Pride Month, with two Presidents before Joe Biden (Bill Clinton and Barack Obama) officially declaring it as such during their presidencies. The LGBTQ community and allies come together for a month-long celebration of love, diversity, acceptance and, of course, pride, with parades, marches, parties, concerts, and workshops. The month is also meant to commemorate the impact of LGBTQ activists on history here in the US and around the world, as well as memorialize those who have lost their lives to the AIDS epidemic and hate crimes throughout the decades.

And that hard work is something worth celebrating: it has led to great strides, and now marriage equality and the right to adopt children in all 50 states are legal. Not only that, but during Pride Month 2020, in a victory 60 years in the making, the Supreme Court ruled that the 1964 Civil Rights Act protects LGBTQ employees from discrimination.

But while these are all huge gains, there is still a long way to go. For example, there are glaring gaps in the protections of the Supreme Court’s ruling, LGBTQ couples still face financial inequalities, Trans rights (as well as the safety of Trans people) continue to be at risk all around the country, and LGBTQ youth continue to face a mental health crisis. As with most struggles to progress and make positive change, there is no fixed end point: those dedicated to making things better will continue their work, generation after generation.

Lessons for Today and for the Future

All of the above is why Pride Month is so important for the LBGTQ community, as well as for people who aren’t part of the LGBTQ community. Pride is a way to support the LGBTQ community, and a way to remind everyone that we should never take freedoms, rights, and protections for granted. Pride is vital because the achievements of the LGBTQ community need to be made visible and celebrated as wins for all of society – but we also need it because the continuing struggles have to be acknowledged as part of the problems of our wider society, so that we can all move forward. There are so many lessons we can take from the origins of Pride, and from what it stands for today. For example:

When people come together, they can make change. The 20th century was a time of massive changes to society, many of which were sparked by activists and protests, but our present is, in many ways, just as intense. The last year has seen protests erupting all over the country, and the LGBTQ community has drawn a parallel between their activism and the activism of groups like Black Lives Matter, proving that we can all be allies and make change together. For example, last year LBGTQ and civil rights organizations called for action in an open letter, stating “We celebrate June as Pride Month, because it commemorates, in part, our resisting police harassment and brutality at Stonewall in New York City, and earlier in California, when such violence was common and expected. We remember it as a breakthrough moment when we refused to accept humiliation and fear as the price of living fully, freely, and authentically. We understand what it means to rise up and push back against a culture that tells us we are less than, that our lives don’t matter. Today, we join together again to say #BlackLivesMatter and commit ourselves to the action those words require.”
Telling your story makes a difference. Collective action is one important piece of the puzzle, but Pride also reminds us that personal stories of individuals can be just as impactful. Coming out, for example, can be extremely powerful: it can change people’s minds and make them see things in a different way. Telling your story, whatever it is, can have a ripple effect that leads to change! Speaking out about injustice you see, whether you are a member of the LGBTQ community or not, is also a way to have an impact on those around you.
Change takes time, but even small personal commitments are worthwhile. How long have marginalized groups been working for change? Decades? Centuries? Progress is incremental, but everyone can claim a piece of it by making small commitments, such as

Ask how you can support others in order to help make a change.

- Speaking up about the issue of LGBTQ rights (or any other issue that you are committed to!) in your social circle
- Protesting
- Calling your legislator
- Educating yourself on the best things you can do right now, even if it means just listening!
- Asking how you can support others

Pride Month can mean so much to so many people: it can be a time to express joy and self-love, to memorialize and celebrate those who came before you, and to look forward to the future – all at the same time! And, while we enjoy a little more togetherness this year (safely!), remember we’ve been through tough times before, and we’ve been able to move forward, we just have to keep hold of what matters.

Tag: healthy lifestyle