healthy lifestyle Archives - Page 14 of 54

Cookie Season Is Over and You’re Still Craving Sugar? Here’s Why and What to Do About It

After the holiday season is over, you’d think you’d never want to see another cookie or sweet treat again. But no, it just doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. It’s like Willie Nelson created the soundtrack to sugar: you are always on my mind… Ok, it’s time to snap out of it, and take a look at why so many people really find it so hard to break up with the sweet stuff, and how you can take steps to crush those cravings once and for all.

Why You Might Be Craving Sugar

a picture of a tooth made up of candies — *Americans on average eat 17 – 22 teaspoons of added sugar per day.*

Do you need a super sweet coffee drink every afternoon, or do you find it impossible to resist having dessert or a sugary treat after meals? Or are you snacking on sweets any opportunity you get? You’re not alone: a study published in June 2017 in Appetite found that 86% of people who had food cravings thought about high-calorie foods, specifically, sugary or chocolatey snacks. Not only that, but by most estimates, Americans on average eat 17 – 22 teaspoons of added sugar per day, even though the American Heart Association recommends limiting your intake to 6 teaspoons for women and 9 teaspoons for men.

So what’s with all of these sweet teeth? Are there reasons behind these seemingly unstoppable cravings? Most experts say yes, and knowing why you might be reaching for sugary treats could help you unlock the key to kicking your cravings. Check out the following possible causes, some psychological and some physiological:

Force of Habit

It might sound overly simple, but your sugar cravings might simply be a matter of conditioning. What you eat, including when you eat it and how much of it you eat, can become a habit, especially when those foods feel rewarding to you. And sugar, despite the crashes and other negative side effects it can cause (like impacts on your mood, weight, energy, and risk of disease), does actually make you feel good (and tastes good, too!). This is because it is believed that eating sugar releases dopamine, one of those feel-good chemicals in the brain; in fact, In a 2016 research review, researchers found that processed foods, especially those containing added sugar, can cause habit-forming behaviors.

It’s a Vicious Dietary Cycle

What happens when you eat sugar? Well, your blood sugar spikes and your body releases the hormone insulin to lower it; what often happens after your sugary snack, though, is that the insulin brings your blood sugar level a bit too low, so you start craving something else to raise it and give you a boost of energy. It can turn into a vicious cycle, putting your body on a blood sugar roller coaster that you just can’t seem to get off of. Add to that the fact that, if you’re eating a ton of simple/refined carbohydrates (like foods with added sugar or white-flour based foods), you’re probably not getting enough protein and good fat in your diet, both of which prevent too much insulin from being released, and can help fill you up longer, as well as crush cravings for sweets.

In addition, if you’re not eating a balanced diet, or if you’re not eating enough or regularly, your body might not be releasing enough ghrelin, the hunger hormone. Studies in rats have shown that the rats with more ghrelin ate less of the sweet treats offered to them.

You’re Stressed

woman stress eating ice cream under the covers — *When stressed, the hormone cortisol floods your body, releasing glucose, which raises your blood sugar and causes sugar cravings.*

What do stress and sugar have to do with each other? You might have an immediate answer: every time I feel stressed at work, I dip into the candy jar. But why? The real reason might be a mix of habit or conditioning, as discussed above, and the actual physical response of your body to stress. When you’re stressed, the hormone cortisol floods your body, releasing glucose from your liver, which raises your blood sugar. As we already noted, fluctuations in blood sugar can cause cravings, so being constantly stressed can also mean constant cravings.

And cortisol might not be your only problem: if you’re low on serotonin, another of those feel-good hormones, because you’re anxious, stressed, or depressed, you might crave more sugar in an attempt to improve your mood, according to some studies.

You’re Not Getting Your Zzzz’s

Poor sleep has been proven to lead to overeating, especially increased sugar consumption, as your body tries to find energy sources to keep it going, and because our internal clock plays a big role in managing the hormones ghrelin and leptin, which promote and suppress food intake. Not only that, but research has shown that even one night of poor sleep can decrease function in the part of the brain responsible for complex judgments and decisions, leading to junk food cravings the next day.

And the kicker? A 2017 research review found that sugary foods can interfere with the quality of your sleep. Oof. More vicious sugar cycles!

The Fake Stuff Is Sabotaging You

Ironically, if you’ve been replacing sugar with some artificial sweeteners, you might be doing more harm than good, and not just because experts are undecided on how safe those sweeteners actually are for our health. Artificial sweeteners tend to be much sweeter than other sugars, which could change your palate, making you crave sweeter and sweeter foods. Need more proof that the sweeter your diet the more you crave sweet things? In one study of people who gave up sweeteners for two weeks, more than 85% of them reported they no longer had cravings for sweets after that time.

Crush Those Cravings

What our last point shows is that going cold turkey on sugar can be a really effective way of getting rid of your cravings, but that’s a tough route to take. Your mind and body might need some other strategies for support as you try to rid yourself of those cravings for good. How to start? Try the following:

Add more proteins and healthy fats into your diet: try avocados, nuts, pulses like lentils, beans, and chickpeas, olives/olive oil, seeds, fish, Greek yogurt, eggs, or oatmeal with some added nuts and seeds. In addition, anything with fiber is a great bet to keep you feeling fuller longer.
Be proactive about planning your meals so you don’t get to the point of desperation. In addition, be conscious of your hunger and eat when you feel hungry, so you can avoid dips in blood sugar that could lead to bingeing on sugar.
Prioritize getting enough sleep: setting yourself a regular bedtime and wake-up time is a great start!
Stay hydrated – you might sometimes actually confuse thirst with hunger; in fact, research has found that people respond “inappropriately” to hunger and thirst cues 62% of the time! That means that many people eat when they are actually thirsty, not hungry. Drinking enough water can also keep you feeling energized, and so less likely to need to reach for something that you think will give you a pick-me-up.
Avoid artificial sweeteners
Trick your body by eating something sour when you want something sweet, to stimulate your taste buds and distract them.
Give in once in a while, since it has been proven that extremely restrictive diets can just lead to more overeating. A great way to satisfy your craving while not overdoing it is to choose a high quality treat, like one rich dark chocolate truffle, and really savor it.
When you’re craving sweets, or if you can recognize that you’re engaging in emotional or stress-related eating, wait 10 minutes and try to distract yourself. Try to change your environment, and distract yourself with something else, like calling a friend, taking a walk, or starting something creative. You can even take those habitual craving times and turn them into a healthier habit by doing some exercise at those times, or anytime cravings hit!
When we think “sugar,” we usually mean refined sugar, but there are healthier forms of sugar that are part of a balanced diet. So satisfy your sugar cravings in a healthier way, with vegetables such as sweet potatoes, squash, beets and carrots, as well as other naturally sweet foods like coconut, bananas, frozen grapes, dates, vanilla, raw cacao and cinnamon (which has been shown to reduce sugar cravings by helping to manage insulin sensitivity), and especially berries, because the sugar in these sweeties is released more slowly than that of other fruits. Bonus points if you make yourself a smoothie that includes sweet fruit, fiber-filled kale, and protein-packed nut butter – or if you craft a delicious pudding from banana, avocado, and cacao!
Going cold turkey is best for some people (sometimes you just need a clean break), but you might be worried about the side effects, which can be physically uncomfortable, or you might be worried that your habit is just too strong. If so, try retraining your taste buds by gradually cutting out one sweet thing a day or week.

If you feel like sugar has a hold on you, take a step back and take the time to really notice your eating habits, your emotions surrounding those habits, and your common cravings. Then, take that mindfulness about your eating and add in some of the tips we’ve given above, and you’ll be well on your way to kicking that sweet habit.

Is Ageism Killing Us?

Getting older can come with a lot of annoyances. Health issues start popping up, your body might ache (remember being able to sit on the floor and then get up with no problems?), your vision and hearing might not be what they used to be, and food doesn’t even taste as good as it used to. Not fair, right? And beyond what is happening with your body, there might be other issues that make your life feel a bit altered as you age: you might actually find that people treat you differently.

Sometimes – and hopefully – that means getting the respect you deserve for the wisdom and experience of your years, but often, and unfortunately, it can actually mean being dismissed or considered “past it.” Maybe it’s your grandchildren laughing at the way you interact with technology, maybe it’s having to swallow all those negative stereotypes of older adults in the media that are just meant to be “funny” – or maybe it’s even worse than that. You might start encountering all sorts of little microaggressions, but you might also be facing even bigger forms of discrimination, from employment discrimination to biases when you access healthcare, to being made to feel invisible in society.

All of this can build up and take its toll on you, leading to worse mental and physical health. So how is ageism, this last “acceptable” form of discrimination, affecting older adults – and are there ways to change things? Some interesting studies are taking a look at how much of a threat ageism is to senior citizens and questioning what we all need to do about it.

What Is Ageism?

The World Health Organization (WHO), which has recently been attempting to highlight the damaging effects of ageism, defines it as defines it as “stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination” based on age. They are extremely concerned at how woven into the fabric of societies all around the world it is, and how much it can affect older people. In fact, they point out that, according to a United Nations report on ageism, “Every second person in the world is believed to hold ageist attitudes – leading to poorer physical and mental health and reduced quality of life for older persons, costing societies billions of dollars each year.”

We tend to think about ageism as a workplace problem, and there is definitely some truth to that. In fact, between 1997 and 2018, approximately 423,000 U.S. workers filed age discrimination claims with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, making up 22% of all workplace discrimination claims. Not only that, but more than 21% of surveyed workers over 40 have faced age discrimination, 36% believe their age has prevented them from getting a job since they turned 40, and nearly 1 in 4 workers age 45 and older have been subjected to negative comments about their age from supervisors or coworkers.

But ageism doesn’t stay at the worksite; it’s all around us. In fact, one study in The Gerontologist found that nearly 80% of respondents to a survey reported experiencing ageism, such as other people assuming they had memory or physical impairments due to their age. The survey also revealed that the most frequent type of ageism (reported by 58% of respondents) was being told a joke making fun of older people, and 31% reported being ignored or not taken seriously because of their age.

The Effects of Ageism

All of the above ways that ageism remains a part of our society can take a serious toll on older adults. It seeps into so many parts of society, including doctors’ offices, places offering social care, workplaces, the media, and the legal system, and it can end up making life worse for seniors in actual, concrete ways. For example, according to the WHO, a systematic review in 2020 of how healthcare is rationed based on age showed that, in 85% of 149 studies, age determined who received certain medical procedures or treatments.

silhouette of a woman looking up with her hands out on the sides filled with a bunch of positive words — *Older adults with more positive self-perceptions of aging lived 7.5 years longer than those with negative self-perceptions of aging.*

The WHO points out that “Ageism has serious and wide-ranging consequences for people’s health and well-being. Among older people, ageism is associated with poorer physical and mental health, increased social isolation and loneliness, greater financial insecurity, decreased quality of life, and premature death. An estimated 6.3 million cases of depression globally are estimated to be attributable to ageism.”

The numbers back this up: for example, one 2020 study in the U.S. showed ageism in the form of negative age stereotypes and self-perceptions led to excess annual costs of $63 billion for the eight most expensive health conditions. This amounts to $1 in every $7 spent on these conditions for all Americans over the age of 60 for one year.

In another study, psychologist Becca Levy, PhD, assistant professor of public health at Yale University found that older adults with more positive self-perceptions of aging lived 7.5 years longer than those with negative self-perceptions of aging. She also found that older people who see aging in positive terms are much more likely to recover from disability than those who believe negative age stereotypes. They’re also more likely to practice preventive health measures such as eating well and exercising, and they experience less depression and anxiety.

According to Dr. Levy, “With negative stereotypes, older people have a higher risk of dementia. They have greater accumulations of plaques and tangles in the brain, the biomarkers of Alzheimer’s disease, and a reduced size of the hippocampus [the part of the brain associated with memory].”

Is There a Solution?

These studies all sound pretty dire. In addition, “there’s a lot of social acceptance of ageism,” as Dr. Levy points out, and studies have found that children as young as three or four already hold ageist ideas. With all of this, it can seem like there’s nothing that can be done. But there is also good news: a new study shows that we can change things.

The WHO has invested half a million dollars in research, with teams around the world collecting and assessing all available evidence on ageism, including its causes and health consequences, how to combat it, and how best to measure it. One of the research groups, at Cornell University, spent a year and a half sifting through dozens of articles, from the 1970s through 2018, evaluating anti-ageism programs – and they actually came up with some very positive findings!

In almost all cases, the participants in the anti-ageism programs they looked at showed significantly less ageism on attitude tests and greater knowledge of aging than people who hadn’t taken part. So what kind of programs seem to change attitudes? Some examples included:

A program in which undergraduate psychology students corresponded with older adults by email, developing deepening relationships over six weeks.
A gardening project in which fourth-graders went to a senior center twice weekly for a month and worked side-by-side with older adults.
A four-session program in an Australian high school, incorporating discussions, games and role-playing about aging.

silhouette of a person at a stand holding a stick — *People in anti-ageism programs show significantly less ageism on attitude tests and greater knowledge of aging.*

Programs that included intergenerational components, meaning they included contact between younger and older people, as well as education about aging, were particularly effective at changing attitudes. And these programs didn’t have to be major, expensive undertakings: most were small, inexpensive, and local.

Ageism is a problem – it has been for a long time, and it can have extremely negative effects on a big portion of our population. But studies show both that we can change attitudes, and that changing those attitudes can make a big difference in quality of life for older adults. We need to remember, though, that it can also be very hard to combat all of those internalized negative feelings about aging that you might have if you’re a senior, and it can be hard to find a balance between being forced to shrug off offensive messages, and constantly having to fight with the world around you.

But you can speak up about ageism, and you can be an advocate for getting involved in programs that bring different generations together and educate younger people to change minds. The lives and well-being of all older adults might just depend on it! So what do you think? What types of ageism have you encountered, and do you think we can rid ourselves of this last form of “acceptable” discrimination?

It’s Your Turn: How to Find Your Word of the Year for 2022

Last year, we did the heavy lifting for you. After we decided that resolutions were for the birds, especially after the year we’d been through (anyone remember 2020??), we found something else to focus on as we glided (stumbled? collapsed?) into 2021: a word of the year. That word of the year was “resilience,” since it just seemed so fitting. This year, as we were searching for the exact right word for 2022, it hit us: it’s time for you to fly from the nest and find the exact right word for you.

That’s what 2022 is going to be all about: finding the version of you that you want to be, and your word of the year can be a mantra to bring you closer to that. Ditching the hollow resolutions and boiling your goals down to a word (or two, or three, or whatever works for you – hey, we’re flexible) can help you find your core purpose and bring you focus and clarity as we start anew in 2022. So how do you start the search?

Finding Your Word – and Your Purpose

a mountain trail with a red flag at the top — *Studies how that having a purpose leads to less health issues, and more happiness.*

Having goals and a purpose feels good, right? Turns out that might not be all in your head: some studies are now showing that a strong sense of meaning and purpose in your life is actually physically beneficial, as well as psychologically beneficial. For example, a study published in JAMA Current Open, found that people who didn’t have a strong life purpose – which was defined as “a self-organizing life aim that stimulates goals” – were more likely to die than those who did, and specifically more likely to die of cardiovascular diseases.

In the study, the relationship between having a lower level of purpose in life and death remained true no matter the income, gender, race, or education level of the participants. The researchers also found the association to be so powerful that having a life purpose appeared to be more important for decreasing risk of death than drinking, smoking, or exercising regularly – beats a vague resolution to go to the gym, doesn’t it?

So yeah, sounds like it’s time to sit down and think about what drives you, so you can feel centered, positively driven, AND bursting with vitality! Picking a word to come back to everyday throughout the year can be one big step in that direction, so let’s get started.

Step 1: Start Reflecting

The first step toward setting your intentions for next year is to actually reflect a bit on the year that has passed. Ask yourself how you felt about last year, and jot down your answers without doing any self-editing. You can also ask yourself the following questions:

What is something I could improve upon, do differently, or keep working on?
What’s something that wasn’t or isn’t going so well for me, and what would be the more positive alternative to this?
By the end of the day I feel (blank), but I would like to feel (blank)

Step 2: Look Forward

Reflecting is important, but we’re looking for the word to spark your goals for the coming year, so you’ll also have to ask yourself some questions about what you want for yourself for 2022. Start jotting down your thoughts on this subject; you can get the juices flowing with questions like:

What do I want more of this year?
What do I want less of this year?
What would be a game-changer for me?
What would my perfect day feel like (not what would happen on this day, but how I would feel)
What are 5-10 goals in all areas of my life that I have for this year?

Step 3: Create a List

Now it’s time to take some time – say 10 minutes – and just go to town listing words that come to mind. Again, do your best not to self-edit – you’re going to refine this list, but for now, you’ve got to set yourself totally free. Your list might include words like compassion, free, fierce, abundance, passion, surrender, fire, forgive, aware, uncomfortable, vitality, force, explore, action, generous, fearless, commit, etc, etc – the sky’s the limit!

Step 4: Refine Your Goals and Your List

Look back at your goals that you jotted down for this year: can you find a pattern in them? Look at your list of words: can you narrow it down to a shortlist of favorites that seem to run on a common theme? Do your shortlisted words fit in with the pattern you see in your goals?

Once you’ve found some overlap, look at your remaining words: are there any that jump off the page at you, make you feel excited, nervous, scared, uncomfortable, or at ease? Being a bit scared or uncomfortable with one of your favorite words is not necessarily a bad thing – after all, change isn’t easy, and feeling growing pains is natural! On the other hand, if you’re looking for something to bring you peace or empower you, feel out words that give you those feelings.

Think about your words, but don’t over-analyze, just trust your gut and go with what feels right. It might help to think about the type of word you want to choose: for example, your word can promote action (verbs like “leap” or “rise”), intensify or describe (adjectives like “calm” or “fierce”), or focus on something concrete (nouns like “home” or “family”).

And remember, no one’s going to judge you for switching words halfway through the year! Sometimes you’ve just got to roll with the punches.

Step 5: Commit to Your Word, and Use It!

hand holding a pen writing on a post it note — *Once you find your word, write it on a post it note and put it somewhere visible as a reminder.*

Hopefully you’ve chosen your word (or maybe it has chosen you!). Now’s the time to think about this: are you just interested in thinking about this word throughout the coming months, or do you feel committed to it? Interested means you might end up making excuses not to use your word, but committed means you’re more likely to work at making it a part of your daily life. In other words, your word should be actionable, and something you can and want to take daily action on.

So once you’ve committed to your word, make a plan for how you are going to use it, remembering that your one word can have many meanings and many actions related to it, especially as you apply it to all facets of your life. Keep your word near you so it is always in your mind. You can put it on your phone’s locked screen, write it on your bathroom mirror in dry-erase marker, put it on a prominent place on your desk, or keep it written on your journal/planner, so it’ll always be there to help you set your little goals and focus your day.

No one could have predicted what 2020 had to throw at us, and for many, 2021 wasn’t really all that hot, either. But now we’ve got a whole new year stretching ahead of us, full of promise and potential, so why not grab hold of it, and do your best to make it what you want it to be? You might not be able to control the events of the world that shape your year, but you can sure try to shape how you act and react as those events unfold around you – and having a word of the year in your pocket might just be one way to do that. Happy New Year, everyone! And don’t forget to tell us what YOUR word of the year is!

Should Exes Be Forgotten? What Science Says About Staying Friends with an Ex

Breaking up is hard to do. But which part about it is harder: losing the lover or losing the friend? If you and your used-to-be were inseparable before you parted ways, it can feel like you’re losing both, and that can be a tough pill to swallow. So what should you do? Forget the lover part and keep the friend around? Is it wise, or even possible, to stay friends with your ex once the relationship is over? This is such a burning question that experts have studied it and weighed in on it, so let’s see what they have to say.

Experts Weigh in on the Whys

a man and woman sitting down with coffee laughing — *Being friends with your ex is not unheard of, but why does it happen and does it work?*

Relationships are messy and complicated, and they definitely don’t stop being that way when they end. There are usually still feelings there, and it can feel like too much to simply cut your ex-partner out of your life completely when you have meant so much to each other. But it seems like there’s not much agreement on whether it’s a good idea to try and stay friends with each other. Would it feel like a poor consolation prize, a way for your ex to try and sneak their way back into your heart (or bed), or even something that’s holding you back from forming new meaningful relationships? Or could you end up with one of the deepest friendships of your life? For every person who wants to take the good stuff and forget the bad and be friends, there’s one that wants to just cut ties and run – so who’s right?

Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. There are countless anecdotes that support both sides of the argument, and even experts are split – or at least acknowledge that there is no one right answer. For example, Rachel Sussman, a New York City-based psychotherapist, advises caution when it comes to staying friends, but says there are couples for whom it works; ultimately, she says, it’s “an individual determination.”

Researchers have even done whole studies on why people remain friends with their exes, and have evaluated how successful ex-couples are likely to be when pursuing friendship. For example, a study out of the University of Kansas identified four reasons to stay friends with exes, and found that they were good predictors (along with things like attachment styles, personality traits, time since breakup, and reasons for breakup) for how likely exes were to make a friendship work:

Security – Emotional support, trust, advice

Practicality – Shared finances or possessions, working or going to school together, having mutual friends

Civility

Unresolved romantic desires

One of those should throw up a huge red flag for you – can you guess which one? The friendships based on unresolved romantic desires unsurprisingly had the most negative outcomes, while friendships based on feelings of security seemed to work the best. Staying friends due to practicality also did ok, but those friendships (as well as those based on civility) tended to be more short-term.

So that’s the general science behind how friendships between exes work (or don’t work) – but how do you know which direction you should go in? Should you get back into each other’s lives, or run for the hills?

When – and How – to Get in the Friend Zone

When can a friendship between exes work? Well, first things first: we want to point out that if you share children, you should absolutely try your best to remain on good terms (even if you’re not ever going to be bestest buddies), since you’ll be in each other’s lives long term. For couples without children, Rachel Sussman says the best candidates are those who:

Were friends before they dated, and so have a solid foundation to their relationship
Dated when they were young
Dated casually or were only together for a short time

That’s not to say those are the only people being friends will work for – there are tons of outliers – but it might be easier for the above types of couples.

In addition, if it does feel right to you to try for a friendship with your ex, there are ways that experts suggest you go about it. They say you should:

Spend time apart first – Remember that time heals, and can also allow you a lot of insight into what went down. Most experts urge you to spend a significant amount of time without contact with your ex after your breakup – and that includes on social media!

Set boundaries – Choosing to reestablish contact and become friends is great if that’s what you want, but you will definitely need to set boundaries to make it work. For example, make it clear that the two of you can text or hang out, but not every day – daily contact might just make things too complicated.

Make some important acknowledgments – You have to both be willing to communicate and to admit that you don’t work together as a couple. According to Dr. Christine Selby, a psychology professor at Husson University, it’s important “to recognize what worked about the relationship and what did not.” If you also agree that “what brought you together was a strong friendship, then it may be possible to reestablish the relationship as a friendship provided there is a clear understanding that neither of you wants to pursue dating [each other] again.”

Constantly reevaluate – Australian counselor Fiona Bennett urges people to be honest with themselves and “Constantly review the friendship and the reasons for continuing it.” That’s especially true if either of you end up with a new partner: “It can be hard for a current partner to understand why you would do this when you’ve got me now. It can spark some insecurity.” Basically, it’s important to reevaluate your friendship as your lives change.

And, as Sussman points out, “More times than not, [someone who stays friends with an ex] is kind of clinging to something. It’s more of a security blanket,” so be sure to assess how the relationship really makes you feel.

And, in the end, if the friendship doesn’t make you feel good, or if it’s too much for you, it’s ok to let it go.

Friends Without Benefits: When NOT to Stay Friends

Speaking of letting go, experts also say there are situations when it might be best not to try to be friends, at least for the time being. One of those is definitely if you’ve been in a toxic or abusive relationship: if that’s the case, you should stay as far away from your ex as possible, and speak to a therapist if you’re having trouble doing so. But there are other times when it’s also in your best interest to cut ties, like when:

One of you still has feelings for the other – As we pointed out above, no good friendships ever come out of relationships based on unresolved romantic feelings. So if you find yourself getting all dressed up to hang out with them, and thinking that maybe, just maybe, you could try again, it might be time to cut ties for a while. Take the time to grieve the loss of the relationship and feel the feelings you need to experience in order to let go.

You still hook up, or feel like it could happen – If you feel like you’re one or two drinks away from locking lips like the old days, you’re not ready to make a clean break and start over as friends. You’re probably going to have to let that simmering sexual chemistry cool before you can even think about a new kind of relationship.

You’re looking for or starting a serious relationship with someone new – This one might sound a little extreme – after all, friends are one thing and romantic partners are another, and you should be able to have both in your life. Turns out, it might not be that simple. For example, a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that “resolving feelings for one’s most recent ex may be important for maximizing a new relationship’s potential.” In other words, having your ex around could make you less likely to give any new potential partners a real shot, especially if you feel like your ex is meeting your emotional needs. And practically, you’ll have less time and energy for meeting new partners if you’re spending all your time with a former flame.

Your friendship feels like a consolation prize – Shifting from lover to friend can feel like a downgrade to a lot of people, and if you’re agreeing to friendship just to remain in your ex’s orbit, you might end up feeling pretty crappy about the whole deal.

You’re overly invested in your ex’s dating life – Does it feel like a knife in the heart if you see your ex hugging on someone else in an Instagram post? Do you find yourself trying to influence them when it comes to who they date, or do you try to persuade them not to call that cutie they met at a bar? None of this is good for either of you, and is a sign you’re not ready to be friends.

To follow on the last point, and to give you one last test of whether it’s really, truly a good idea to try for a friendship with your ex, psychotherapist Dr. Jenn Mann suggests you ask yourself the following question: “If my ex met someone new and fell madly in love, would I be genuinely happy for them both?”

If you can genuinely and honestly answer “yes” to the above question, great – you’ve got the potential to have a really meaningful friendship in your life. If you can’t, that’s ok – absolutely no judgment! After all, ending a relationship can be one of the most painful experiences you can go through, and no one expects you to be some sort of emotional superhero. Just remember, however you choose to handle your breakup (and there’s not one right way to do so!), you need to put your own well-being first, and clinging to the past is never the way to do that. So proceed with caution, and do what’s best for you. And don’t forget to let us know about your experiences with being (or trying to be) friends with your exes!

Resolutions Suck…But It Might Be Time to Kick These Secretly Bad-for-You Habits

We’ve all got them: bad habits that we know are bad for us, but that we haven’t quite gotten around to kicking to the curb. You know, smoking, being too sedentary, having a few too many big nights out, or eating candy every night… And maybe now is the time of year when you start thinking about changing your ways and getting healthier. But what if there are things you’re doing that you don’t even realize are bad for you, or that might be worse for you than you think? Hard to change your ways if you don’t know you need to change them, right? So, while we’re generally pretty anti-resolution (see here), we do want to point out some bad habits that might be secretly worse for you than you think, so you can get started on being a healthier you!

1. Living by the 5-Second Rule

hand spreading out fingers — *The 5 second rule is not actually healthy for you!*

Oh man, you dropped your last French fry – that’s the worst! Buuuuut…you managed to snatch it up immediately, so you dust it off and guiltily pop it into your mouth, claiming the “5-second rule.” But that’s not a thing, and it’s not just us saying that: it’s backed up by science. Eating a fry off the floor might not be the worst thing you can do to your body, but researchers want us to know that you can still get sick from a bacteria-contaminated piece of food no matter how long it’s been on the floor, although the longer it’s there, the worse it might be.

According to Donald Schaffner, a food scientist at the School of Environmental and Biological Sciences, “The five-second rule is a significant oversimplification of what actually happens when bacteria transfer from a surface to food. Bacteria can contaminate instantaneously.” So let that fry go, friend, let it go.

2. Not Being Up on Your Napping Knowledge

Don’t get us wrong, we’re definitely NOT naysaying all napping – you just have to know how to do it right. An analysis of over 20 studies encompassing more than 300,00 people done by The European Society of Cardiology found that, while a short 30-45 minute nap can be beneficial to heart health, their findings on longer naps were pretty concerning. They found that naps lasting over an hour are linked to a 30% higher risk of all-cause death and 34% higher chance of cardiovascular disease in comparison to people who don’t nap at all. Wow, guess we better set that alarm.

3. Dieting Like It’s 1999

Are you still dieting, in the old-fashioned sense of the word? Like, drastically cutting calories or giving up food groups to quickly lose weight? Well, it turns out that’s really not a great idea; instead, you should be thinking about making sustainable lifestyle changes. If you get sucked into yo-yo dieting, you’ll only end up repeatedly losing and regaining weight, or weight cycling. And weight cycling is not only stressful for you, but it’s also connected to health issues like increased insulin, blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol, as well inflammation and slowed metabolism.

In addition, you should always be wary of diets that involve cutting out whole categories of foods (unless it’s candy!). For example, if you’ve sworn off carbs, think about this: foods with carbohydrates are where you get most of your fiber each day, so if you don’t eat enough of them you could end up with some severe digestive distress. There are a lot of weird things that happen to your body when you eliminate carbs, including low energy levels and brain fog, so be careful how you radically change your diet.

4. Slouching Towards Worse Health

Slumping a bit at your desk? You might think that in the worst-case scenario you’ll end up with some neck and shoulder pain. However, while you’re definitely at risk for that if you’re slouching, you could also be headed towards heartburn, poor digestion, incontinence, and constipation. “Slouching increases abdominal pressure, which puts pressure on the bladder. The position also decreases the ability of the pelvic floor muscles to hold against that pressure,” according to Meghan Markowski, a physical therapist at the Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital. So take a look for exercises you can do to help straighten up and fly right.

5. Having Your Coffee with all the Fixins

Love sweet, flavored coffee drinks? You might want to consider cutting back on them for your health (and your wallet!). Chew (or sip) on this: a 16 ounce (Grande) flavored Caffe Latte at Starbucks packs 17 grams of sugar – 4 teaspoons worth – from the syrup alone. Even adding half-and-half and a couple of packets of sugar to your coffee can add 50 calories to your normally 5-calorie cup; over a year, if you don’t offset those extra calories each day, that’s enough to pack on 5 extra pounds.

6. Being a Texting Pedestrian

Can’t take your eyes off your phone? If you’re glued to your screen in the privacy of your own home, you can take that up with your partner or other people who might be annoyed by it, but if you’re doing it when you’re out and about, you could end up seriously injured. A recent study from the University of Washington found that people who crossed several busy intersections while texting were four times less likely than people who weren’t texting to look before they crossed, cross with the light, or stay in the crosswalk. It also took them two seconds longer to navigate the intersection, leaving them much more vulnerable to danger from the vehicles around them. Trust us, scrolling through social media can wait – seriously.

7. Eating Al Desko

plate of spaghetti on a desk next to a laptop — *Eating at your desk can cause you to eat less healthy.*

We get it, you’re busy. So you might be taking more lunches at your desk than you’d like – and, honestly, more than are good for your health. According to research in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, you’re more likely to overeat if you’re eating at work, especially if you’re sitting in front of your computer, since when you’re distracted, you tend not to actually think very much about what you’ve just put into your mouth. And if you don’t even recall what you’ve been eating, “That blunts the satiety response,” according to lead author Jeff Brunstrom, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Bristol in England. And if your lunch isn’t filling you up – even if it’s just a trick of your mind – you’re more likely to eat more and snack throughout the day. So get out there and reclaim your lunchtime!

8. Popping Pain Pills

Life gives you headaches, and luckily, modern medicine gives you pain relievers to help. But if you’re constantly reaching for over-the-counter pain pills, you could be doing more harm than good. For example, excessive use of acetaminophen can cause liver issues, and NSAIDs (nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs), can cause stomach and/or kidney problems. And if you suffer from migraines, taking over-the-counter pain relievers two or three times a week for weeks on end can actually cause more headaches, due to a rebound effect that can occur after your body gets used to the medication.

So now you know the truth about these little, but possibly damaging, bad habits – and knowledge is power! But breaking bad habits can be tough. It takes a lot of focus and patience, since studies now show that forming or breaking a habit can take anywhere from 18 days on the lowest end of the spectrum to 254 days, with 66 days being the average amount of time needed for most people. So if you have habits you’d like to break, what can you do to get started? Think about the following tactics:

Identify your triggers

Change your environment

Find an accountability partner

Use a reward system

Replace your bad habits with new habits that will get you to your goals

Again, we’re definitely not pushing resolutions here, just giving you the knowledge you need to get a little bit healthier every day – and today might just be the day to start on that journey. And we’d like to know: do you have any habits that you’d like to give up? How are you planning to get healthier this year?

Winter Woes for Seniors: How to Stay Safe as the Temperature Drops

There’s a lot to like about winter, unless you’re a dedicated sun worshipper, of course; we have to admit, though, we like to get our cozy on when the temperature drops. But now that the icy season is in full swing, it’s also important to recognize the dangers that winter can bring, especially for older adults. There are lots of risks to your health and safety that are lurking both indoors and out, but there are ways you can avoid them and focus on enjoying the winter (or waiting for the spring thaw)!

Stay Toasty When You Head Outside

caucasian person with a blue shirt on holding their heart area — *Hypothermia can lead to a heart attack, and even death.*

We don’t want to sound like your mom, but, because it becomes increasingly difficult to regulate your body temperature as you age, it’s really important that you wrap up warm if you’re going to be heading outside. After all, according to the CDC, people over age 65 make up over half of all hypothermia deaths! Hypothermia occurs when your body temperature drops below 95 degrees Fahrenheit, and can result in serious health problems, like heart attack, kidney issues, and even death.

The best way to get yourself ready to brave the cold is to dress in loose layers (the air between the layers will help keep you warmer), which will allow you to shed excess clothing if you become too warm, and make sure that no skin is exposed to the cold. And, because hypothermia happens very gradually and so can be difficult to detect, you should know the symptoms:

Shivering
Slurred speech or mumbling
Slow, shallow breathing
Weak pulse
Clumsiness or lack of coordination
Drowsiness or very low energy
Confusion or memory loss
Loss of consciousness

Keep Your Home Warm

Following on the theme of staying nice and toasty, you should also make sure you’re heating your home properly when the winter chill sets in outside: try keeping your thermostat set to at least 68 degrees at all times. Yes, that can be pricey, so it can be tempting to skimp on the heating if you’re on a fixed income, but before you lower the thermostat, try doing some simple projects around the house (or getting someone to help you with them), like closing vents, putting plastic on windows, or placing rolled towels or blankets in front of doors to reduce drafts.

Keep Your Home Safe

When it comes to time spent at home, you’ve got to think about more than just staying warm during the winter: this season brings some indoor hazards that might not be as much of an issue in the warmer seasons. For example, the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning from the use of fireplaces, heaters, or lanterns greatly increases at this time of year, so be sure to check that you have working carbon monoxide detectors in your home.

You should also be sure that you have working smoke detectors and fire extinguishers at home: it’s an unfortunate fact that seniors are 3 times more likely to die or be injured in home fires. That means that if you are using alternative ways to keep warm at home, you need to be very careful. For example, you might be using space heaters, which are great for keeping toes toasty, but can be a real fire hazard if used incorrectly. If you’re going to use one, make sure you:

Keep all sides of the heater at least 3 feet from anything that could be a fire hazard
Put the heater on a stable surface so it won’t tip
Don’t plug it into an extension cord or run the cord under carpeting or rugs
Unplug it immediately if the cord or outlet become hot
Never leave the heater unattended or running while you’re asleep

In addition, if you have a fireplace – well, lucky you! In all seriousness, though, if you do have a fireplace, remember to get your chimney and flue inspected annually to reduce the risk of unintended fires. In addition, always put a large screen around your fireplace to prevent sparks from flying out and landing on flammable surfaces.

Be Prepared for Severe Weather

In many parts of the country, winter brings with it some pretty intense weather, so make sure you’re ready in the event that you have to be holed up (hopefully all cozy in front of your newly cleaned fireplace!). Prepare for possible power outages by:

Keeping flashlights and fresh batteries in places where they are easy to find, so you can grab them and find your way around the house.
Having piles of blankets, as well as extra hats, scarves, and sweaters stashed in easily accessible places so you can keep warm.
Stocking your pantry with nonperishable foods that can be eaten without cooking or storing in the fridge, as well as bottled water, just in case.

Stop Slips and Falls

Alarmingly, the National Institutes of Health report that around 1.6 million older adults go to the emergency room because of a fall each year; other statistics suggest that 1 in 4 older adults will experience a fall at some point. And all studies point to the fact that your chance of a fall greatly increases in colder weather if you’re over 65, and increases even more significantly if you’re over 75. A bad fall can lead to some pretty serious consequences, so it’s important to keep yourself safe if you do have to head out in wintery weather:

Always wear rubber-soled, non-slip shoes.
Keep up with your eye health, so your vision is at its best!
Maintain an exercise routine, so you can feel more mobile, balanced, and sure-footed.
Be extra cautious, and always assume that there could be a layer of ice on every surface.
Carry a cell phone or alert device with you at all times, so you easily get help in case of an emergency.

And when it comes to walking safely, don’t forget your own property! If you can’t do it yourself, line up some to shovel and salt your driveway, walkways, stairs, or sidewalk in front of your home.

Chase Away the Blues

The long, dark winter months, when it can be difficult to get out, can also be challenging to your mental health. The best way to proactively combat the possibility of seasonal depression creeping in? Spend some dedicated time with friends and family, whether it’s setting up regular visits, joining in with activities in your retirement community if you live in one, or even having scheduled video chats with loved ones if you can’t get out. You can even volunteer in your community to get the benefits of feeling connected to others; there are lots of options to do so virtually, as well, if you aren’t comfortable traveling somewhere or being around a lot of people.

One other thing you can do? When the sun is shining, head outside and soak it in! Natural light helps to combat symptoms of seasonal depression.

Boost Your Body

bowl of oatmeal with strawberries on top — *Get extra vitamin C and zinc in your body during the winter months to help boost your immune system.*

You’ll need to keep yourself emotionally healthy AND physically healthy now that the cold has set in. Number one on the list? Make sure you’re up-to-date on all your vaccines, especially flu and pneumonia.

Next, don’t forget to eat right. Sure, we might be missing all the seasonal summer fruits, but you still need to eat your rainbow, and make sure you’re eating foods rich in essential vitamins and nutrients, including vitamin C and zinc. Try making smoothies with frozen strawberries and kale or enjoying some seasonal citrus fruits to get your vitamin C. For zinc, whip up some warming hot chicken soup or chili with kidney beans or garbanzo beans (add bell peppers for bonus vitamin C!), snack on some nuts, or start your day with some steaming oatmeal (yogurt will also do the trick, but won’t warm you up in quite the same way!)

Finally, move your body! Yes, we did warn you to be careful out there, but it’s still important to get out and get moving when the weather permits; when it doesn’t, try doing some stretching or yoga inside – there are lots of videos you can follow along with on the internet.

You know, as we grow older, we learn to appreciate every season, don’t we? There’s beauty in each part of the year, even if it’s hard to see it while we’re struggling to shovel the walkway or are worried about taking a tumble off an icy curb! But if you take a few precautions as outlined above, you can be ready for this season, and enjoy it for everything it has to offer. Now get out there and get your winter on – or, you know, cuddle up by the fire and have a cozy night in, whatever floats your seasonal boat.